What a 76 year old taught me about retirement
During my residential spiritual retreat in Atlanta recently, I happened to share my room with a 76 year old participant. I did not know her but was happy to have an Amma as my roomie. Amma is commonly used to address mothers or grandmothers in Southern India. I grew up being very attached to my grandmother and I always enjoy the company of older people.
During those 4 days with Amma, my ideas, perceptions and thoughts about retirement got redefined.
Amma had a soft glowing skin and sparkle in her eye. I know it was not from using cosmetics. Her makeup and toilet kit barely had any products.
I asked her the first morning if she slept well and she said her sleep was beautiful. While going to bed, during the night when she got up and as she woke up in the morning she prayed to her Gods. She had a direct hot line with a few Indian deities. She said one of them even spoke to her at night. Her connection to the divine was palpable.
I asked her about her family and her face lit up. She went on and on about how wonderful her immediate family was and she missed her distant cousins, her parents, aunts and uncles. The only emotion Amma held in her mind about family was pure love. I am sure she has had her share of ups and down, but she dint carry it with her.
Amma saw the glass half full. We were living in a motel and it didn't have the best of facilities. But as we walked out of the breakfast area she thanked the servers and the front desk staff for their service and told them they were doing an amazing job. Amma was full of gratitude.
Next morning around 4 am, Amma tripped on the bath mat and fell in the tub. I fortunately heard a loud bang and woke up and was able to help her. I had some guilt thinking if it was my fault that I put the bath mat on the floor. She picked up on my guilt and told me that if she had to trip she would have tripped anywhere and she was lucky to have me around. She kept addressing me as her Godmother for saving her. I was her daughter's age, but she kept calling me Amma or Godmother the whole time. What I realized was that Amma had no ego whatsoever. Everyone in her eyes were angels.
Amma was eager to learn new things and diligently did all the homework given during the retreat. She kept reminding me too.
Amma celebrated herself and her tradition. She took the time to wear a beautiful saree everyday during our retreat.
Amma was childlike and innocent and always smiling. When music played, Amma danced freely. She did not care if she was the only one on the dance floor. She danced like no one was watching.
Amma was very giving and wanted to share everything she had. She had absolutely no attachment to her material stuff.
Amma carried No baggage. Not material or emotional.
When we parted I told her that my goal in life would be to be like her as I retire. She left a lasting impression on my heart.
We all do retirement planning and it is extremely essential, but most of the focus is on finances. It is all about how much wealth you can save for housing, food, healthcare, travel, other activities etc. There is an assumption that a huge part of the savings are for possible future health conditions. And there is nothing wrong about saving or anticipating all possible scenarios.
I think what is truly missed is planning for strategies to support us unload and not carry our physical or emotional baggage to our old age.
I have heard this several times from many different people that when we are young we have time and energy but no money. When we start working and have a family we have money and energy but no time. During retirement we have money and time but no energy.
Does it have to be like this? Is it possible to live a baggage free life like Amma?
Absolutely! Everyone is entitled to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life as long they do what it takes to offload the unwanted.
We are all born as humans because we have a bag of Karma to exhaust. There are three types of Karmas - Active, Potential and Dormant ( Based on knowledge from Vedas).
Active Karma is what is what is already in motion. Say the arrow has already hit us and we have a wound that needs healing. Doctors, therapies and other forms of physical healing practices support us here.
Potential Karma is like an arrow on a bow, stretched and aimed at us. Most probably you will get hit by it, but there is a slight possibility of moving slightly aside and avoiding the impact. Emotional healing can help bring that awareness in the moment to avoid something coming at us.
Dormant Karma is like a bag of seeds that is waiting for a fertile soil and water to germinate. The fertile soil is provided when our land space gets vulnerable through life experiences, sickness, old age, triggers and traumas, hurts, disappointments etc.
When we heal our emotional baggage, do spiritual practices and align ourselves to the rhythm of nature, we start roasting these seeds. And roasted seeds don’t germinate.
If you really want to plan for a good retirement, work towards roasting these dormant karmic seeds.
Sort all that you are holding in your subconscious and unconscious about people, situations, your fate so far, etc.
The process of offloading your baggie is a journey. It cannot happen quickly or cannot be forced upon someone. It requires you to awaken in your leadership to let-go layer after layer, unlearn and relearn. You need to be patient and allow the process to uncover while actively participating in it.
The time to start is now. No matter where you are in life or how busy you are, you can act on it. Even a child can get started on their journey.
It is hard to start your journey when you are sick and in pain and are dealing with life threatening situations, but not impossible. If we roast our Karmic seeds when we are young, they will not germinate later and we won’t have to deal with difficult situations upon retirement. We can use the free time during retirement to focus on our bucket list.
I am walking this journey and would love to talk to anyone who is curious about the adventure.
Love,
Sapna